Chief
12-28-2006, 07:16 AM
It has been apparent for some time that the City of Vancouver is on a constant prowl for new and creative ways that they can raise funds for different projects. My observations have led me to conclude that there are two, and only two basic criteria that any new tax proposals have to meet, in order to satisfy Hizzonor the Mayor and Crew:
1. The Voters cannot be asked to approve it because they will just say "NO"
2. The City cannot ask the Clark County Commissioners for it because they all hate one another and cannot even agree on where to have lunch.
So the solution comes down to what taxes City Council can simply impose by Ordinance. It's tough to come up with new tax strategeries, because you can never be sure what will fly and what won't.
In another thread, I raised the possiblility of a $100 City License on every single housepet in the city limits. Think how many cats, dogs, ferrets, parrots, hamsters, gerbils, lizards, and other assorted rodents that City Council could declare need a license, and you can see we are talking about some serious geech....
I thought about it and did some research, and here are some other tried and true taxes that were very successful in days gone by, and I think they deserve re-examination by our City Fathers (and Mothers...).
URINE TAX: Imposed by the Roman Emeror Nero, around A.D. 60. Why? The contents of public toilets were collected by tanners and laundry workers for the ammonia, which was used for curing leather and bleaching togas. Nero slapped a fee on the collectors (not the producers) and it was such a money raiser that Nero's successor, Vespasian, continued the tax. When his son, Titus, complained about the gross nature of the tax, Vespasian is reputed to have held up a gold coin and said, " Non olet" ("This doesn't stink").
What a concept! I think that all "Rolls" Royce needs to do on this is first pass a proclamation requiring Togas at City Council Meetings, and then impose the tax on the Producers AND the Collectors. Look how fashionable Hizzonor looks in a Toga, and you'll agree that this tax is an instant winner...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/SeniorChieftain/nero_pollard.jpg
BACHELOR TAX: A favorite of governments to encourage population growth, and raise money at the same time. Julius Caesar tried it in 18 B.C. The English imposed it in 1695. The Russians under Peter the Great used it in 1702, as did the Missouri Legislature in 1820. The Spartans of ancient Greece didn't care about the money, they preferred public humiliation. Bachelors in Sparta were required to march around the public market in wintertime stark naked, while singing a song making fun of their unmarried status.
What an excellent idea! Maybe Emperor Pollard can get these bachelors two ways: first pass an Ordinance requiring all Bachelors in Vancouver to buy one of those proposed condos on the Boise Cascade Property, then tax the hell out of them until they either marry some nice liberal girl, or the Domestic Life Partner of their choice...
And we could use Esther Short Park for those naked wintertime marches!!!
SOUL TAX: Peter the Great, czar of Russia, imposed a tax on souls in 1718...meaning eveybody had to pay it. Peter was antireligious (he was an avid fan of Voltaire and other secular humanist philosophers), but agreeing with him didn't excuse anyone from paying the tax - if you didn't believe humans had a soul, you still had to pay a "religious dissenters" tax. Peter also taxed beards, beehives, horse collars, hats, boots, basements, chimneys, food, clothing, all males, as well as birth, marriage, and even burial.
Boy! Talk about a smorgasbord of Taxes you can fall in love with! This is probably the best idea of them all, since your average Uber Liberal Squishy Far Left DemocRat is at least half Communist anyway, there is a lot for them to be comfy with about snuggling up to Russian ideas....not that Peter was a Commie, but he was Imperial and his ideas about taxation sound a lot like todays DemocRats...
Wait until Royce the Great, Czar of Vancouver, finds out about this list!! We could be talking the magic check book that could potentially pay for the Royce Pollard Memorial Trimet Station in Downtown Vancouver after all...and no anoying "Naysayers" or "Boo Birds" to contend with either!
Stout Hearts...
Chief
1. The Voters cannot be asked to approve it because they will just say "NO"
2. The City cannot ask the Clark County Commissioners for it because they all hate one another and cannot even agree on where to have lunch.
So the solution comes down to what taxes City Council can simply impose by Ordinance. It's tough to come up with new tax strategeries, because you can never be sure what will fly and what won't.
In another thread, I raised the possiblility of a $100 City License on every single housepet in the city limits. Think how many cats, dogs, ferrets, parrots, hamsters, gerbils, lizards, and other assorted rodents that City Council could declare need a license, and you can see we are talking about some serious geech....
I thought about it and did some research, and here are some other tried and true taxes that were very successful in days gone by, and I think they deserve re-examination by our City Fathers (and Mothers...).
URINE TAX: Imposed by the Roman Emeror Nero, around A.D. 60. Why? The contents of public toilets were collected by tanners and laundry workers for the ammonia, which was used for curing leather and bleaching togas. Nero slapped a fee on the collectors (not the producers) and it was such a money raiser that Nero's successor, Vespasian, continued the tax. When his son, Titus, complained about the gross nature of the tax, Vespasian is reputed to have held up a gold coin and said, " Non olet" ("This doesn't stink").
What a concept! I think that all "Rolls" Royce needs to do on this is first pass a proclamation requiring Togas at City Council Meetings, and then impose the tax on the Producers AND the Collectors. Look how fashionable Hizzonor looks in a Toga, and you'll agree that this tax is an instant winner...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v645/SeniorChieftain/nero_pollard.jpg
BACHELOR TAX: A favorite of governments to encourage population growth, and raise money at the same time. Julius Caesar tried it in 18 B.C. The English imposed it in 1695. The Russians under Peter the Great used it in 1702, as did the Missouri Legislature in 1820. The Spartans of ancient Greece didn't care about the money, they preferred public humiliation. Bachelors in Sparta were required to march around the public market in wintertime stark naked, while singing a song making fun of their unmarried status.
What an excellent idea! Maybe Emperor Pollard can get these bachelors two ways: first pass an Ordinance requiring all Bachelors in Vancouver to buy one of those proposed condos on the Boise Cascade Property, then tax the hell out of them until they either marry some nice liberal girl, or the Domestic Life Partner of their choice...
And we could use Esther Short Park for those naked wintertime marches!!!
SOUL TAX: Peter the Great, czar of Russia, imposed a tax on souls in 1718...meaning eveybody had to pay it. Peter was antireligious (he was an avid fan of Voltaire and other secular humanist philosophers), but agreeing with him didn't excuse anyone from paying the tax - if you didn't believe humans had a soul, you still had to pay a "religious dissenters" tax. Peter also taxed beards, beehives, horse collars, hats, boots, basements, chimneys, food, clothing, all males, as well as birth, marriage, and even burial.
Boy! Talk about a smorgasbord of Taxes you can fall in love with! This is probably the best idea of them all, since your average Uber Liberal Squishy Far Left DemocRat is at least half Communist anyway, there is a lot for them to be comfy with about snuggling up to Russian ideas....not that Peter was a Commie, but he was Imperial and his ideas about taxation sound a lot like todays DemocRats...
Wait until Royce the Great, Czar of Vancouver, finds out about this list!! We could be talking the magic check book that could potentially pay for the Royce Pollard Memorial Trimet Station in Downtown Vancouver after all...and no anoying "Naysayers" or "Boo Birds" to contend with either!
Stout Hearts...
Chief